Post by MissTris on Nov 1, 2010 18:13:44 GMT -5
This is the beginning of my novel from my series, which I am re-writing. I thought perhaps you guys might like to read it, maybe give a suggestion of you'd like. Fret not, I don't mind criticism. Remember the sandwich rule. I personally don't know what I think of my intro, I've never been very pleased with how I did it to begin with (any time I was thinking about it, or the time before)
And, a note about the dream that is written here. That is a dream I've had, and it's frickin' terrifying to me. To conclude it though (so you may know what happened) That green monster /could not/ touch me. I hissed at me, angry that for some reason it could not and spoke in a rather weird language at me. Then I ran away. I'd had that dream over the course of a week as much of it was reoccurring...
Roughly in the month of May...
It was a normal day so like any other anymore, after all the time we’d spent so busy...after the wars, panic, pain. It is refreshing, now, a year after the end to sit and remember how things were before.
It seems odd what they can pull from your memories, but that is the wonderful thing about this place. Life is not always, what it seems, and it’s seldom ever dull. A particular movie is now slid into the slot. I still cannot help but chuckle any time I do this; it is the little things...all the little things.
Settling back to watch it, on my cushions and pillows I smile. Alone right now, in blessed peace, quaint unstrained silence is beautiful when you have been through so much. I settle my thoughts as the movie begins. This was...ten...twelve years ago? Such a short time for me, and yet so long to all and all. So much has changed...so much.
The screen to the box, something like to a television, but not all at once, clears and shows a girl, short, only five feet tall, round with a spare tire gut, dirty blond shoulder length hair of the curly frizzy persuasion. She is smiling friendly and warm; it touches her eyes, lovely blue eyes flecked with some strange yellow. No one in the family has yellow like that; it is all so strange...
That is I. My name is Heather...
My little cat, older now, but, as things are, not yet dead climbs into my lap and looks at me with her lovely green-blue eyes, a feline grin, broken by her one large tooth shows she’s glad I chose to sit and be her resting place. “Meiyoko, little cat of my heart, we’re going to watch a movie.” I tell her, knowing she would not care anyway, happy for my company and I hers. I pet her little brown ears and content to watch...
I am sitting at my desk, a seventeen-year-old pain in the ass junior student with average grades. However, it’s summer, thank god. The sun is not yet quite up, after all...its five thirty in the morning. “Why am I still awake” I growl to myself and shove a few more things into my duffle, last minute supplies.
“HEATHER, COME ON!” Mom is yelling because she is nervous. Every time anything involves planes, she gets nervous. She is my mom, and I love her, but she worries too much. We always get to the air port two hours early, sometimes almost three, and have to sit in the crowded, bustling place and watch foolish people who did not leave early enough rush to get where they are going. I can’t say that I envy or admire them getting there by the skin of their teeth, but it must be a comfort to sleep those extra five minutes...perhaps at all as this case was today.
A family vacation for us. A wonderful affair of a trip into New Mexico in some little town, the name I could not even remember right now. It was my dad’s idea; he liked to take these trips with the family. Not going to lie, I enjoy them to much of the time. This one...not so much though...I do not really like Mexico as a country. So by proxy, call me bias, New Mexico does not sound like my place either. I go though, one part in not having a choice, and another in wanting to give it a shot. I will call my friends here and there, and write letters, pick a souvenir or two for a few of them. They were my friends after all, and I liked to give them things.
But here I am stalling some more, never having slept all night, up playing with Role plays of wolves, cougars, foxes, an assortment of things with people over the internet. Neopets, even though I am 17, a few random sites I would found that I liked which curtailed my interests. It was time to go though now! Hurried goodbyes rush in screwed typing as I stuff more into the duffle. I am taking my laptop, but I do not anticipate much time to play around on it, so I say as much to a few of my people. Closing the computer, I stuff it last into its own bag, peppered with buttons and pins of anime of various kinds. Full Metal Alchemist, Cowboy Bebop, and loveless to name just a few of the popular favorites amid many. I chuckle a little, at these pins, and wish I could attend the convention with the rest of my friends. But alas! A Trip! I will come back tanned and with pictures to swap at least.
Barreling down the stairs now I almost trip on Meiyoko and stoop to pick her up and hug her to me “I’m sorry lovey, I can’t take you. I want to. You be good.” She likes to run away when she think that I am leaving to go somewhere. It almost never fails to hold me up. “Oh catcat, stay here.” I hug her harder and she gives a protesting ‘ahhck’ something like a sigh and a grunt for a cat I guess. Putting her down I finish my decent with my mom at the base of the stairs, looking fretted and busy. “I’ ready mom.” The clothing was packed up and was in the car last night in its duffels and totes.
I won’t go out the door first without talking to Abby, my Abby. I fall to my knees and hug her around her thick black neck. The mutt wags her tail, brown eyebrows over brown eyes look as though to say ‘you’re leaving me? With who?’ My uncle is taking care of them; he had better do a good job! I left particular instructions about my Bearded Dragon’s needs. For Pirakos, as my beadie was named, is a picky animal. “Be good girl.” I ruffle her flopped ears as I stand again and head out the door. Pirakos would not be awake this early to say goodbye too, and if I managed to wake him up, he would be angry and try to bite anyway. That reptile had personality and there was no way to disagree. He loved his reality TV and, even if it sounds clichéd, he loved Godzilla too, but more for the baby Godzillas than the mother of them.
Door locked I got in the car, finally, at the consternation of mom, and we were away! Off to the airport. I watched the trees, cast in deep shadows flicker past. My father is a rather fast driver, it’s his personality I suppose, he’s a Leo after all, very show offish and sometimes short tempered. However, at this early stage of the drive, in our own neck of the woods there is no terrible traffic, only a deer and its fellows crossing through the road and a lone Fox. I watched them through hooded eyes, tired at last from lack of sleep, but to excited to actually fall asleep just then. I could not read in the car, I have never been able to. Anything involving reading makes me get terrible headaches that tend to evolve into Migraine. I needed no such thing while in the air, so I simply watched the scenery as it brightened with the coming of the daylight. Such a welcoming thing the rising sun is. It is a promise of another day of bright warmth and growth. A hail to the human kind, though one myself I am not a fan of them. I hate people. Coming into town now shows a bit of why...those buildings, ugly, imposing, aggressive towards the nature that once lived in their place. I hated people then and still do today.
At last, I drifted into a sleep, lulled by the car rocking and turning as we smooth along the way to the airport. The day promised to be a clear one, but in my dreams, it seemed there was only turbulence...
I dreamt...
I tread along a pebble-pocked path, dark and twisted, off into the red and black smoked abyss. I was afraid and I was confused. I could see me, as a spectator in my dream. While I was the same short round blond girl that I always was where there should be ears were blue fins, and where tailbone should end extended into a true tail, scaled, a rich blue with a lighter blue web-like end, the same light blue as the fin-ears. What did that mean? As I watched my little figure turn down a path I saw that my eyes were not gold flecked, but actually gold in my dream, tinted here and there with little blue spots not unlike my eyes normally in reverse. I looked afraid as I walked along the path through the smoke. I was not watching long from above, it seemed like after I saw my eyes I was sucked into them, and was myself in the dream. In the distance, there were screaming calls, and flickers of light from below either side of the walkway glint and flicker of things in the air. Eyes, in sets of three, flicker Red, distinct from the smoke highlights from below in their bloody viciousness. There! A wing, a huge wing, followed by a second in alternating rhythm right behind it, what was I seeing? I stopped and crouched, those fins for ears folding back and my tail coming around my feet, wary of the dangerous things that were flying overhead. One dipped low enough that I could get a better look, and seeing what they really were did not help at all. They were birds, three eyes on either side of their heads, four wings, one behind the other on either side, flapping in alternate times. Long hooked beaks edged with more stiff bone, like teeth. The one that dipped low, perhaps the length of two SUVs in a line opened its maw with a crackle and let loose that screaming cry that I had been hearing. The owner of that terror noise did not help settle the feeling any more than cutting off your hand would stop the pain in you skull. This hellish place was indeed a place of pain.
I whimpered, and rising took a few steps down the stone death tread. I had not gotten too far though, when the path ceased to be flat with nothing to either side but smoke and heat. Rocks cropped up here and there, and perched on one was something that would be comical...were this world funny. It was a huge dark green thing, its skin was not quite scale, but not really, skin flesh. It shone like acid. I stopped before reaching where it was crouched, with its three talon hands on skinny stick arms resting over equally thin stick knees and legs. I looked at it, no apparent face, though there was a ridge of spikes strait through the circumference, as though it was decorated. How could it stand? How could it use those hooks like claws that shone with black hell light? It defied reason, and that alone made it dangerous and scary in this place.
I gave it a wide berth as I could try to go around it, but getting midway, directly across the walk from the weird form it moved. A talon twitched, and it straightened up, and then opened its eye. One huge acid green, cat like eye, swirled and whirled with yellow and red as though it’s eye was a nimbus storm gathering. This eye filled its completely circular body except the edges, and its arms and legs. Those spines I had seen were perverse eyelashes, rimming its eye, pointed down towards it as though to cut it. I edged a little further down the path, and then saw the rest of it. A mouth split the small space between the bottom of its eye and the curve of its bottom. Hooked, tearing teeth, layers like a sharks teeth shine white in the inky light and it chuckles a little. Slowly one hand rises from its knee and curls in two of the fingers. The last is pointed out towards me, as I start to shake my head and take a small step back. It does not move but for tugging its finger in, twice, in a ‘come here’ motion. ‘Come here, let me hurt you, let me cut you, let me let you bleed.’ Is what it seems to say. A sob of terror escapes me, so weak I am, but I do not cry. I run, down the rocky, twisting path which switchbacks into the gloomy smoke. I do not know where it leads, what is at the end, if it is even the right way I am going, but I ran.
I ran as if hells hounds were following me, maybe I was right. I slowed though, and stopped, there was a fork at last, a fork in this crooked and jagged path. Rocks built and piled here, and despite having run there crouched the green beast. It was perhaps four feet from me, and smiling wickedly, it reached for me. It shoul-
I woke up cold, so very cold, from this dream. I woke up because dad was yelling. Ah, normality. I shrugged off this weird dream, the last thing I recalled was that that green beast looked angry, as though it was going to touch me and either knew I was waking up...or could not touch me.
And, a note about the dream that is written here. That is a dream I've had, and it's frickin' terrifying to me. To conclude it though (so you may know what happened) That green monster /could not/ touch me. I hissed at me, angry that for some reason it could not and spoke in a rather weird language at me. Then I ran away. I'd had that dream over the course of a week as much of it was reoccurring...
Roughly in the month of May...
It was a normal day so like any other anymore, after all the time we’d spent so busy...after the wars, panic, pain. It is refreshing, now, a year after the end to sit and remember how things were before.
It seems odd what they can pull from your memories, but that is the wonderful thing about this place. Life is not always, what it seems, and it’s seldom ever dull. A particular movie is now slid into the slot. I still cannot help but chuckle any time I do this; it is the little things...all the little things.
Settling back to watch it, on my cushions and pillows I smile. Alone right now, in blessed peace, quaint unstrained silence is beautiful when you have been through so much. I settle my thoughts as the movie begins. This was...ten...twelve years ago? Such a short time for me, and yet so long to all and all. So much has changed...so much.
The screen to the box, something like to a television, but not all at once, clears and shows a girl, short, only five feet tall, round with a spare tire gut, dirty blond shoulder length hair of the curly frizzy persuasion. She is smiling friendly and warm; it touches her eyes, lovely blue eyes flecked with some strange yellow. No one in the family has yellow like that; it is all so strange...
That is I. My name is Heather...
My little cat, older now, but, as things are, not yet dead climbs into my lap and looks at me with her lovely green-blue eyes, a feline grin, broken by her one large tooth shows she’s glad I chose to sit and be her resting place. “Meiyoko, little cat of my heart, we’re going to watch a movie.” I tell her, knowing she would not care anyway, happy for my company and I hers. I pet her little brown ears and content to watch...
I am sitting at my desk, a seventeen-year-old pain in the ass junior student with average grades. However, it’s summer, thank god. The sun is not yet quite up, after all...its five thirty in the morning. “Why am I still awake” I growl to myself and shove a few more things into my duffle, last minute supplies.
“HEATHER, COME ON!” Mom is yelling because she is nervous. Every time anything involves planes, she gets nervous. She is my mom, and I love her, but she worries too much. We always get to the air port two hours early, sometimes almost three, and have to sit in the crowded, bustling place and watch foolish people who did not leave early enough rush to get where they are going. I can’t say that I envy or admire them getting there by the skin of their teeth, but it must be a comfort to sleep those extra five minutes...perhaps at all as this case was today.
A family vacation for us. A wonderful affair of a trip into New Mexico in some little town, the name I could not even remember right now. It was my dad’s idea; he liked to take these trips with the family. Not going to lie, I enjoy them to much of the time. This one...not so much though...I do not really like Mexico as a country. So by proxy, call me bias, New Mexico does not sound like my place either. I go though, one part in not having a choice, and another in wanting to give it a shot. I will call my friends here and there, and write letters, pick a souvenir or two for a few of them. They were my friends after all, and I liked to give them things.
But here I am stalling some more, never having slept all night, up playing with Role plays of wolves, cougars, foxes, an assortment of things with people over the internet. Neopets, even though I am 17, a few random sites I would found that I liked which curtailed my interests. It was time to go though now! Hurried goodbyes rush in screwed typing as I stuff more into the duffle. I am taking my laptop, but I do not anticipate much time to play around on it, so I say as much to a few of my people. Closing the computer, I stuff it last into its own bag, peppered with buttons and pins of anime of various kinds. Full Metal Alchemist, Cowboy Bebop, and loveless to name just a few of the popular favorites amid many. I chuckle a little, at these pins, and wish I could attend the convention with the rest of my friends. But alas! A Trip! I will come back tanned and with pictures to swap at least.
Barreling down the stairs now I almost trip on Meiyoko and stoop to pick her up and hug her to me “I’m sorry lovey, I can’t take you. I want to. You be good.” She likes to run away when she think that I am leaving to go somewhere. It almost never fails to hold me up. “Oh catcat, stay here.” I hug her harder and she gives a protesting ‘ahhck’ something like a sigh and a grunt for a cat I guess. Putting her down I finish my decent with my mom at the base of the stairs, looking fretted and busy. “I’ ready mom.” The clothing was packed up and was in the car last night in its duffels and totes.
I won’t go out the door first without talking to Abby, my Abby. I fall to my knees and hug her around her thick black neck. The mutt wags her tail, brown eyebrows over brown eyes look as though to say ‘you’re leaving me? With who?’ My uncle is taking care of them; he had better do a good job! I left particular instructions about my Bearded Dragon’s needs. For Pirakos, as my beadie was named, is a picky animal. “Be good girl.” I ruffle her flopped ears as I stand again and head out the door. Pirakos would not be awake this early to say goodbye too, and if I managed to wake him up, he would be angry and try to bite anyway. That reptile had personality and there was no way to disagree. He loved his reality TV and, even if it sounds clichéd, he loved Godzilla too, but more for the baby Godzillas than the mother of them.
Door locked I got in the car, finally, at the consternation of mom, and we were away! Off to the airport. I watched the trees, cast in deep shadows flicker past. My father is a rather fast driver, it’s his personality I suppose, he’s a Leo after all, very show offish and sometimes short tempered. However, at this early stage of the drive, in our own neck of the woods there is no terrible traffic, only a deer and its fellows crossing through the road and a lone Fox. I watched them through hooded eyes, tired at last from lack of sleep, but to excited to actually fall asleep just then. I could not read in the car, I have never been able to. Anything involving reading makes me get terrible headaches that tend to evolve into Migraine. I needed no such thing while in the air, so I simply watched the scenery as it brightened with the coming of the daylight. Such a welcoming thing the rising sun is. It is a promise of another day of bright warmth and growth. A hail to the human kind, though one myself I am not a fan of them. I hate people. Coming into town now shows a bit of why...those buildings, ugly, imposing, aggressive towards the nature that once lived in their place. I hated people then and still do today.
At last, I drifted into a sleep, lulled by the car rocking and turning as we smooth along the way to the airport. The day promised to be a clear one, but in my dreams, it seemed there was only turbulence...
I dreamt...
I tread along a pebble-pocked path, dark and twisted, off into the red and black smoked abyss. I was afraid and I was confused. I could see me, as a spectator in my dream. While I was the same short round blond girl that I always was where there should be ears were blue fins, and where tailbone should end extended into a true tail, scaled, a rich blue with a lighter blue web-like end, the same light blue as the fin-ears. What did that mean? As I watched my little figure turn down a path I saw that my eyes were not gold flecked, but actually gold in my dream, tinted here and there with little blue spots not unlike my eyes normally in reverse. I looked afraid as I walked along the path through the smoke. I was not watching long from above, it seemed like after I saw my eyes I was sucked into them, and was myself in the dream. In the distance, there were screaming calls, and flickers of light from below either side of the walkway glint and flicker of things in the air. Eyes, in sets of three, flicker Red, distinct from the smoke highlights from below in their bloody viciousness. There! A wing, a huge wing, followed by a second in alternating rhythm right behind it, what was I seeing? I stopped and crouched, those fins for ears folding back and my tail coming around my feet, wary of the dangerous things that were flying overhead. One dipped low enough that I could get a better look, and seeing what they really were did not help at all. They were birds, three eyes on either side of their heads, four wings, one behind the other on either side, flapping in alternate times. Long hooked beaks edged with more stiff bone, like teeth. The one that dipped low, perhaps the length of two SUVs in a line opened its maw with a crackle and let loose that screaming cry that I had been hearing. The owner of that terror noise did not help settle the feeling any more than cutting off your hand would stop the pain in you skull. This hellish place was indeed a place of pain.
I whimpered, and rising took a few steps down the stone death tread. I had not gotten too far though, when the path ceased to be flat with nothing to either side but smoke and heat. Rocks cropped up here and there, and perched on one was something that would be comical...were this world funny. It was a huge dark green thing, its skin was not quite scale, but not really, skin flesh. It shone like acid. I stopped before reaching where it was crouched, with its three talon hands on skinny stick arms resting over equally thin stick knees and legs. I looked at it, no apparent face, though there was a ridge of spikes strait through the circumference, as though it was decorated. How could it stand? How could it use those hooks like claws that shone with black hell light? It defied reason, and that alone made it dangerous and scary in this place.
I gave it a wide berth as I could try to go around it, but getting midway, directly across the walk from the weird form it moved. A talon twitched, and it straightened up, and then opened its eye. One huge acid green, cat like eye, swirled and whirled with yellow and red as though it’s eye was a nimbus storm gathering. This eye filled its completely circular body except the edges, and its arms and legs. Those spines I had seen were perverse eyelashes, rimming its eye, pointed down towards it as though to cut it. I edged a little further down the path, and then saw the rest of it. A mouth split the small space between the bottom of its eye and the curve of its bottom. Hooked, tearing teeth, layers like a sharks teeth shine white in the inky light and it chuckles a little. Slowly one hand rises from its knee and curls in two of the fingers. The last is pointed out towards me, as I start to shake my head and take a small step back. It does not move but for tugging its finger in, twice, in a ‘come here’ motion. ‘Come here, let me hurt you, let me cut you, let me let you bleed.’ Is what it seems to say. A sob of terror escapes me, so weak I am, but I do not cry. I run, down the rocky, twisting path which switchbacks into the gloomy smoke. I do not know where it leads, what is at the end, if it is even the right way I am going, but I ran.
I ran as if hells hounds were following me, maybe I was right. I slowed though, and stopped, there was a fork at last, a fork in this crooked and jagged path. Rocks built and piled here, and despite having run there crouched the green beast. It was perhaps four feet from me, and smiling wickedly, it reached for me. It shoul-
I woke up cold, so very cold, from this dream. I woke up because dad was yelling. Ah, normality. I shrugged off this weird dream, the last thing I recalled was that that green beast looked angry, as though it was going to touch me and either knew I was waking up...or could not touch me.